Here I am... Signed, sealed, delivered.

So... How do I put this... We're expecting! I can't believe it. I am actually going to be a mom. It's a mind boggling thought. So many questions come to mind. Will I be able to handle it? Will my kid even like me? Will I be able to give them all they could ever need and help them be the best person they can be? I'm going with... I hope so. That's really all I can do. I really can't believe this time has actually come. I've always wanted to me a mother. I'm just the mothering type, I suppose. Whenever my sibs and I would play... we'd play house, and I was the oldest and made sure I was the "mom". Ha. Good memories of good times past. Gotta love it. To think a little one with mine and my love's DNA will be playing games as we did those many years ago. We are just about 16 weeks along. Baby Orssten is due October 25th, 2012. I'm not quite showing... mostly because I have a layer of fat covering the top of it, helping to camouflage the bump, but it's there! No doubt about it. So far, I've had a relatively easy pregnancy. Bouts of nausea here and there as well as the occasional food aversion. Like, please, don't even go near me with a Chipotle burrito, or anything that smells like one. I just may vomit on you. And if you do it after I've asked you not to, I will make sure to vomit on you. But really, life has been great. I am a very lucky pregnant gal. We are so anxious to find out the sex of this baby. I really just can't wait to find out! At first I'm just like, "eh, whateva, a baby is a baby, I don't care what it is". And while, I really still will be happy either way, I've bought out pretty much all the grey, yellow, light green neutral clothing I can find. It's time to get some gender specific threads into this babe's closet! We find out June 4th whether there is a penis or a vagina (or possibly both, let's hope for a non-hermaphrodite baby, but hey, of course, I will love it just the same) floatin' around in my uterus. I just can't imagine. I've had dreams of boys. One very beautiful brown curly haired with big brown eyes boy stared back at me in one... I can only hope for such a beautiful baby. I also had a dream of a girl, she was a toehead blonde, and I'm not quite sure she was ours, since I have an olive complexion, brown hair and eyes, and Cacy, the daddy, is half black/half white with piercingly beautiful light eyes. But hey, ya never know! But, how psychic can I possibly be? Especially since the babe's dad is the psychic one, he dreamed we were pregnant and the next week we found out we were. Who knew? Pretty awesome, I say. Also, it could be a girl because the only name that I can come up with is a girl name: Violet Elizabeth. Violet because I love it and Elizabeth because it was Cacy's great grandmother's, who raised him and who he adored with all his heart, middle name. My friend Natalia said that's how she new her last one was a girl, because with her first two the same situation rang true and whoda thunk it, number three was the same as well. Today was just another day where I struggle to eat nutritionally adequate foods. Well, I suppose there is protein in the sunflower seeds I painstakingly devoured, as well as in the Nutella I slathered on the five grain bread. Besides that, I did drink some apple juice. 100 percent juice I might add. Breakfast had some good protein as well with three unfertalized chicken eggs over easy and some more nine grain bread; not bad. Let's just say, the licorice, the dove chocolate, and the almond joy mocha from Dutch Bros. never happened. The aforementioned unmentionable, aka my sugar addiction, has been prevalant throughout this entire pregnancy. I can't have enough sugar! I'm not sure if it's because I've become vegetarian, err uhh, pescatarian really (can't stay away from that sushi! Yes, cooked of course), and use it as a way of supplementing the meat in my mind, or if I really just have an addiction to sugar. Honestly, I eat rather well if it weren't for the sucre dominating my daily menu. I haven't gained any weight throughout this pregnancy either, which is good, as I am considered morbidly obese already. Which proves this pouch in front of me isn't all me. Thank goodness for my peace of mind. Either way, I neeeeeeeeeeeed to stop eating sugar like the canes will all be melted down into glass any time soon or else I'm sure I'll induce gestational diabetes.