Feelings of depression....

I feel really depressed today and I'm not quite sure why. I just feel really lonely. Ok, so I kind of know why in a sense, and what I'm not sure is if I even have a right to be so sad about the subject that is clawing away at my happiness. So, I was talking to my boyfriend and we were discussing the matter of after death. I told him how I had spoken with an elderly lady at the hospital that I work at and she was telling me about how her and her husband are donating their bodies to science. It's a rather interesting concept. I mean, myself, not being religious and believing that the body is just a result of our genetics and it is here to transport our life source and when our body dies, our life goes elsewhere. I'm not sure where it goes of course, but we don't use the body after it's dead. I thought, I don't want to be buried in a grave underground, rotting away, being eaten by bugs and my body slowly decaying into mere nothingness. Gosh, no. I thought about being cremated, and yea, my dad was cremated, and so was my sister, but they're just sitting in my mom's room on her shelf. What good are they doing there? I don't know. Either way, we were chatting and I asked him what he wanted to do when he passed, and he knew that he wanted to be cremated and stored with his grandmother. Well, I don't know why, well, probably because I think everything revolves around me in an odd sense, however, I just thought about how he didn't even consider being next to me at all. I guess if we have kids or something I'll be buried with them. But for some reason, the idea that he doesn't want to be with me afterdeath kind of makes me feel extrememly lonely now. Obviously I have more attachments to the physical body then I let myself think. I don't know, but it makes me sad and I feel lonely. I guess I just need to be a big girl on this one. Whatever.